


Not A Good Morning

by Leni



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 19:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4192092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leni/pseuds/Leni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Bruce woke up to a sharp ache between his eyes and the certainty that opening his eyes would be the worst idea possible.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Good Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Daria234 at [Comment Fic](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/490844.html?thread=72995676#t72995676). Prompt: **Avengers, any/any, drunk emails are never a good idea.**

Bruce woke up to a sharp ache between his eyes and the certainty that opening his eyes would be the worst idea possible.

It was.

Moving his hand to cover his eyes against the sudden, sharp light was an even worse idea. It started a whole different set of pains, all of them coming from screaming muscles that complained about having fallen asleep in some ridiculous position.

That's why he never got drunk. Alcohol may give him a giddy daze that kept the Hulk at bay, but it always ended like this.

Okay. Perhaps not _exactly_ like this, he realized a heartbeat later.

Was he... naked?

Ever since his greener self had taken to wandering around the world in barely decent form, Bruce had learned to appreciate the feeling of cloth against his skin. It was one of the first signs that all was good in his world.

It seemed that all was _not_ good today.

That feeling only got reinforced by the sound of the bathroom door opening behind him. The sound was accompanied by the faint scent of perfume. Feminine perfume. Perfume that he definitely did not own and had never resided in his bathroom.

If movement had been an option, Bruce would have hit his head against the nearest surface. Instead he scrambled for some memory of the past night. He came up blank. He swallowed down a groan - he was too old for drunken one-night-stands, damn it - and rolled over.

And nearly bit out his tongue.

"Uh...."

_Natasha,_ a distant voice provided. His brain, probably, trying to salvage some of this situation. _Her name is Natasha!_.

"Gah," was his brilliant greeting, when speech capacity refused to become up to speed. If embarrassment fueled the Hulk, there would be a green blur breaking through the walls on his way out.

Sadly, he was still Bruce Banner. A _naked_ Bruce Banner. And there was an unimpressed redhead staring down at him.

And he still couldn't remember how he'd come to this.

"Are you feeling better?" Natasha asked.

He managed a nod.

"Good."

And she strode out of the bedroom.

Confused, Bruce glanced after her. That was the moment an unfortunate memory broke through. This time he _did_ bash his head back against the headboard. "Nat?" he called out, aware that the front door hadn't made any noises, which meant his teammate was still nearby. He wished she'd left, so he wouldn't have to do this. He really didn't want to ask the question, but he needed to know for sure. "Did I, uh, happen to e-mail you last night?"

"Yes," came the answer.

Bruce sighed. "And... did I ask you to come by?"

"You were very insistent." Her head poked back into the room. Now she looked amused. "It was kind of sweet... and strange. In fact-"

"Aw, god." He hid his face into his hands. As if that would make the last twelve hours go away. "Please tell me I didn't call you-" He had to whisper this part. Whatever thoughts he'd entertained about taking this woman out for a date? Good bye, and for good, after this morning. "-by any pet name?"

Natasha's amusement seemed answer enough, but before he could start an apology, she thankfully shook her head.

A second later, Bruce discovered that Natasha's answer wouldn't have made the day worse.

Tony's did.

"That was me."

Bruce stared in horror as yet another teammate appeared at his bedroom door. 

Tony waved at him, obviously relishing Bruce's horror. Then he pulled a sad face - and was that a pout? "Aw, angelcakes, don't tell me you forgot your sweet pumpkin-baby already?"

Bruce whimpered.

Tony barked a laugh. "You're too easy, Banner."

Natasha joined in the laughter.

After a long moment, Bruce sighed and let out a chuckle. "Okay, har har. You win, guys. Now..." He waved down at himself, aware that despite the sheet covering him, his nudity would still be obvious. "Care to explain this?"

Tony and Natasha glanced at each other, shrugged, and just as Bruce was deciding to leave it be and chalk it up to the strangeness of his life, Tony whistled and shouted out down the hallway outside, "Hey, Clint, any idea what happened to Banner's pants?"

 

The End  
22/06/15


End file.
